| I tried to sing him a song I wrote but he didn’t seem to like it. I showed him a few lines I wrote, just a passing thought, but he didn’t really understand what I meant. |
| On my way home I was thinking about my relationship with him. About the way we interact. There is something unnatural about it. Something doesn’t feel quite right. I can’t really be myself with him. |
| It seems that in order to interact with him I have to resort to a lower common denominator. Pick subjects that I wouldn’t normally talk about, use words and phrases that I would never use otherwise, and in general, not be myself. Act. Pretend. Lots of pretending involved. Pretend that I am interested, pretend that I’m impressed, and pretend that I ‘dig’ him and what he says. |
| I had to repeat to myself again and again “he’s a good guy thought, he’s a good guy”. He may be, but I think that both of us know that if it weren’t for the particular circumstances we find ourselves in, we wouldn’t be associating with each other. |
| A friend of mine (whom, unfortunately, I can’t really associate with these days) once told me that he’s longing for the time when he’ll be surrounded only by people he chooses. It’s kind of a luxury. |
| Something to aspire to. In the meantime you may find yourself maintaining friendships and relationships that you’re not always happy to be in. It’s nice to be in a position where you don’t give a damn. But to get there you have to give some serious damn. And maybe it’s not that terrible that he didn’t like my song. He’s a good guy after all… |
