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Fellowship of Losers

I must admit that I never thought I would feel so lonely without her. And she would only be gone for three days. Tomorrow she would be back.

Once she asked me if it was because it's so good with her or because it's so bad without her. "There's a big difference between the two," she said anticipating my response. I felt right away that this was one of these only-one-correct-answer questions. So I answered the obviously correct answer, but I guess that even she sensed that I wasn't really sure.

I decided to get out of the house for a while. I'd been staring at the walls for two hours thinking horrible thoughts. The kind of thoughts that seem to haunt me whenever she was not around. It was getting darker and colder outside and the street was empty.

I roamed the streets for half an hour before I decided to drive to the bookstore. As if I didn't know that I would end up there in the first place.

I usually love hanging around at the bookstore. I buy a small cup of coffee and pace slowly between the bookracks, checking the new releases and daydreaming about seeing my own debut in the bestsellers section one day.

But it was different this time. Maybe because she was away. I wasn't really in the mood and even the coffee tasted bitter and tepid. At other times I might have tried to replace it with a better cup, but I didn't feel I possessed the strength to confront the counterman.

Finally I found myself at the bargain section flipping the pages of a significantly discounted book. Someone's first novel. And most likely the last. I felt bad for him. I was starting to feel bad for myself as well. It was then that I decided to read this book. Maybe in some warped cosmic way I could make this unsuccessful novelist feel a bit better knowing that someone took the time, if not the money, to read his creation. A fellowship of losers.

A few hours later the last customers were stepping out of the store and I had to skip two chapters and read the final page thinking that, even after the discount, the book's price was still overvalued.

It was close to midnight now. She would be back in less than 8 hours...

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